omegafriends

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When the feed starts up, it shows only an extreme closeup of someone's eyeball, accompanied by the booming voice of someone with their mouth far too close to the microphone.

"Uhhh...is this thing working?"

There's a slight pause as whoever is behind the camera waits for an answer. Eventually, something occurs to her and she pulls back out of the view, revealing a young girl wearing metal armor and a mask.

"Heyo! I'm Princess Pegasus, new Omegafriend! Today's my first day, so I thought I'd introduce myself!"

STRIKING A COOL POSE (it's not actually all that cool, it's more like what a fifteen year old girl would think is cool)

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Alvin chuckled. Joke was on him for assuming, right?

"Alrighty then. Just as long as you're aware of what that last one sounds like, and that it's probably... or at least hopefully false. That should be good enough."

"Okay! And don't worry, if I ever need to slap you, I'll go one-up on Mom and remove my gauntlet first!"

"... Or you could just, you know, not slap me? I think I'd like that better."

"But what if it's the only way to break you out of enemy mind control? I know that if it were me I...well, actually, I'm way too amazing at heroism to get mind controlled - but anyway, if it were me I'd want you to slap me out of it! And, y'know, if you ever get mind controlled when we're on a mission and the only way to break you out of it is for me to slap you, what would you prefer? Getting slapped with my bare hand, or being in eternal mental slavery to a heinous badguy?"

"Somehow I'm pretty sure that there'd be another way to break me out of it," Alvin said. "But it's probably not going to come up all that much. I may help you guys out from time to time and that's why I have the watch, but I'm not actually a super hero."

"... Though if it does happen, yeah, the slapping would probably be preferred."

"Understood! I look forward to our eventual HEROIC TEAMUP!"

Princess Pegasus, you didn't hear a word he said, did you?

"Well, I'm sure it'd have to happen at some point. Deviobots attack the city way too often for me to get away every time."

"Great! Oh! What's your hero name? I can work on a speech that uses it!"

"I don't have one. Like I said, I'm not a super hero. I'm a PI. I investigate things. It just so happens that in this city that ends up throwing me into the action way too often for my tastes."

"Oh man, you investigate the DARK AND SEEDY UNDERBELLY of the city without any powers?"

SO ENTHUSIASTIC

"Next time you do that, you should message me!"

"Yeah. Pretty much," Alvin admits. Maybe it wasn't completely dark as she would think, but well, he doesn't need to tell her that.

But that last part was definitely something he had to say something to. "No offense, but you don't really seem to be the stealthy type. There's not really much glory in investigations and it's not really all that heroic. You should probably stick to things like Deviobot attacks."

"I can wear a disguise! And then, when you've got goons closing in on you because the evil mastermind penetrated your disguise, you can do a special whistle to signal me and I'll bust in there and HEROICALLY SAVE YOU."

"As amazing as that sounds, those situations are actually pretty rare. Chances are if I do need saving, it's less because I was discovered and more because someone decided to attack the whole city at once."

Not that there hasn't been a situation where he was discovered, but well... no need to let her know about something that did happen like that. Then he'd never be able to get rid of her.

"The offer's always on the table if you need it!"

"Okay. That works. I'll be sure to keep you in mind if I ever need some help. Even if you're not with me, I bet you can probably get to me pretty fast with that Pegasus of yours, can't you?"

"Yep! Aerial cavalry is the fastest cavalry there is, after all!"

"Alright then. It's a deal. I need help, I'll call the Magnificent Princess Pegasus to come save me."

Alvin pauses, before realizing something important. "Anyway, since I don't have a superhero name, I guess my real one will have to do. Name's Alvin. Nice to meet ya."

"Likewise! PRINCESS PEGASUS looks forward to working with you, Inspector Alvin!"

Inspector Alvin? Well, he could roll with that.

"Thanks. You better not let me down though. Those of you with super powers have a bit of an easier time with this type of thing."

"Oh, besides my pegasus, my only actual superpower is healing really fast! Other than that I'm just, you know...really good at punching things."

"That's not really much, but it's more than I got," Alvin said. But maybe actually calling on her for help wouldn't be all that smart. "But if you don't have other powers, how are you going to expect to take care of things like Dr. Devious's Deviobots?"

She stares blankly at Inspector Alvin for a few seconds before perking up.

"It's not like 'been in a few fights' level of punchitude, you know. It's the 'elite military combat training' level of punching dudes."

Alvin laughs a bit at that description. "Well, I guess we'll get a chance to see how you compare to them during the next inevitable robot attack, won't we? But most elite military soldiers that I know of aren't able to punch those things and have it work out."

"Really? You must not have very good armies in this world, then."

Completely straightforward as she says this.

"Or maybe people in your world are just naturally stronger than us here?"

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pega_pony_princess - 2014-06-09 01:28 (UTC) - Expand

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totallyatattlejerk - 2014-06-09 16:40 (UTC) - Expand

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