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[Golden Tiger is not, by any means, a brilliant strategist. He does, on the other hand, have two years experience maneuvering around boardrooms, and that's taught him more than a few things. The first being that when an opportunity presents itself, you take it. So with the spandex squad all in a tizzy after Doctor Doofus's little song and dance, now's the perfect time to get out there and make a name for himself in this town.

It comes to the surprise of almost no one when a giant robot crab comes crashing through the wall of the Venture City Central Bank, trailed by a regular platoon of hired thugs. The Tiger himself is on the scene, of course, standing atop that crushing crustacean, arms folded. The room erupts in chaos. A few security guards try and rush the goons, but they're mowed down in seconds. Tiger just laughs and swishes his coat, letting the speakers in his mask carry his voice through the building.]

Alright, nobody make a move! This here is a robbery. Take everything ya got and dump it all in the bags. Everything for the Golden Tiger!

[On cue, the thugs hold out a collection of burlap sacks, some of which have dollar signs painted on them. Need to shoot for authenticity here.]

Don't forget about those safety deposit boxes, too! C'mon people, let's hustle!

[One by one, the tellers, guards, and even some of the patrons step up and start to unload cold hard cash into the bags. So many supervillains swing by this place, they all know the procedure by now. Everything's going just as planned. If one of those rubes in tights showed up, everything would fall to pieces.

That'd just be awful, right?

Right.]

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Hold up there pal! The FDIC might insure this bank against theft, but let's not drive up banking fees too much in our fair city!

[Do you know what it's like, being the only superhero who takes three quarters of an hour to put on his costume? It's a hassle. So Jeb has to be ready to go but in full costume already when he wants to be KERBAL-X.

Fortunate then that the Golden Tiger hit the bank today while he was camped out on the roof watching for action. Jetpacking down to street level, he announces his presence with the whine of turbines and the heroic-but crackly-speech.]

[Oh. Fantastic. That thing he didn't want to happen is happening right now, at this very second. Tiger turns, and the crab with him, and he gives a cocky smirk under his mask.]

So what? They should be thankin' me, in that case!

[And without missing a beat, DTR swipes one of its deadly claws down, aiming to knock our courageous cosmonaut out of the air.]

I dunno about that, you blew a hole in the wall after all. And the citizens won't thank you for stealing priceless things like grandma's wedding ring!

[Kerbal-X is an Astronaut thank you very much, and he's much too agile with that jetpack to be caught by an sort of Giant Enemy Crab. He can however, set his lasers to 'stun' (well, more like burn) and fire a few shots from his pistol and the money-gathering underlings.]

Even better! Give it to someone who can put it to use!

[The stuff, he means. The crab raises a claw to shield itself from the blasts and manages to get away with just a scorched paint job. The thugs aren't so lucky, and a handful of them go down without a fight. The rest have a little more guts and open fire on Kerbal-X, filling the air with razor-edged dollar bills. ]

[Razor edged-but Kerbal-X is hard to hit, and though a few of the bills lodge in his suit, that's about all they do-the micro-meteor protection works well against bullets and the like as well.]

I don't think you've got the appreciation of your situation here! You won't be putting any of that to use, since you're leaving without it.

[The jetpack lets him charge into the midst of the goons, bowling a few over, and knocking a couple more aside in confusion as he sprays lasers everywhere.]

[Okay, so he's tougher than he looks. Time to get a little more hands-on, in that he's just going to have the crab do more stuff while he stands there trying to look menacing.]

Golden Tiger never walks away empty-handed. C'mere!

[Those pincers are a lot after than the look. DTR lashes out, trying to close its claws around Jeb's midsection.]

Huh! Fast for a giant metal crustacean!

[Jeb backpedals furriously-and winds up diving into the vault to keep out of the way of the claws while he bumps up the power in his laser and try to shoot the Crab in an eye. Still, things look grim for our hero...]

[The blast connects, reducing the right optic to a smoking wreck. Tiger curses under his breath, but they can patch it up later, and he's got the space kook cornered now. The crab lurches over the tellers, making its way to the vault.]

Gotcha right where I want you!

The kid always knew when to make an entrance. A bottle connects with the side of the giant crab from behind. Though he might be more concerned with the fact he was about to be peppered with about 20 mortar balls. The Skipper's would have been proud to see that crab get blasted that way, laying down all over the surface of a crab.

Even worse for that Tiger fellow was the fact the Kid's mortars left a new paint of hot grease all over his crab; making sure it would get very hot near and on the crab. If it was a real crab, it would turn nice and red pretty quick.

"You took the words right from my mouth!"

Normally, it's bad to cut in without announcing yourself, but I'll let that slide this time. Thanks for the assist!

[Jebediah lines up a second shot-going for the left optic this time to burn it out and blind the robot completely. But if he sees a gap in the armor he can pour a shot into, or a spot where that grease might ignite when struck by a laser...]

[The bottle and mortars strike true, slamming into the side of the robot and heavily denting its shell. The whole contraption staggers from the force and Takarada clings desperately to its back, trying not to fall right off. Jeb's laser misses the mark, but that's fine because he's pretty much already on the run.]

Crud. Alright boys, take what ya got and move!

[One super is to be expected, but two is just a little too much to handle, especially when they've got the upper hand now. DTR scuttles backwards, trying to disengage from the melee and beat a hasty retreat.]

"Sorry about that! I am The Kid. You catch the fleeing goons, I will break this stupid machine."

The kid doesn't care much for this guy and his giant crab. He took his hammer out to charge down the crab, leaping at it. He brings down his hammer in a massive overhead smash against it's hull. The kid knew how to really make that hammer smite. Though since the Kid didn't know the thing too well, there was no chance he hit just the right seam to make it crack right down the middle. Right?

Just the Kid? Man, you need to pick a better name for yourself. Good work though!

[I hope you goons weren't too busy running away to get LASERED.]

[In a hostage situation, being able to slip in to get a better idea of what's going on is a good idea. Kudos to the stupid watch for giving Ben Upgrade in this situation.]

[It's easy to slip inside through the wiring. He follows the electric current to one of the security cameras. Anyone paying attention will see that one of the cameras is not like the others, the camera Ben has overtaken changing so that it was black with green lines on it and swiveling about to take in everything.]

[Giant robot crab? Ooooooh. That has possibilities~]

[Tiger, for his part, doesn't even notice the weird new paint job. Cameras aren't even a thing he considered, going into this. It's not like he has a problem with people seeing him.]

Pick up the pace already! Time is money, y'know!

[He does have a problem with the pacing here, though. C'mon, it's not like these people have a gun to their heads, right?

Oh, wait.]

[Okay, this will work out great. Just need to get over to the--]

[...Oh, darnit! Of all the cameras to pick, he grabbed the one farthest away!]

[All right. Don't panic. Don't curse the watch just yet. Think, Ben. You need to get across the room without being seen. So far nobody's noticed the new paint job on the camera, but if he takes over anything major, it'll be really obvious. Plus there's the hostages.]

[He swivels the camera about, trying to find something else he can use. He needs to pull some of these goons out of here, away from the hostages to give Ben room to fight ~~and screw up~~.]

[Intercom system. Meaning a security or main office. Perfect.]

[And that paint job is going to suddenly ooze off of the security camera as Ben goes hunting for the security office.]

[Thankfully, the office is just a stone's throw away from Ben's spot on the wall, packed with cowering guards who don't even notice the crazy techno-sludge in their midst.

Back in the lobby, Takarada's had just about enough of this lollygagging and motions to a pair of goons.]

Go check the other rooms, make sure we didn't miss anything. And be quick about it!

[The thugs salute and tromp off towards the security office without hesitation. They know what's in store for them if they don't listen to the boss.]

[Ben's "head" stretches out from the intercom device, looking at the cowering guards.]

Oh, great. And here I was hoping for some privacy. Is everybody okay?

[There's a chorus of nervous "yeah"s and "uh huh"s. Seems like everybody's safe and sound, but not for long. The door bursts open and a pair of Golden Tiger's hired guns stride in, sweeping the room with their guns.

The guards flatten themselves to the ground. A two of them reach for their batons, but none of them actually get up. Might be a good time for some superheroics.]

Oh hey! [Check the goopy techno thing out, guys.] I was just about to call for you guys! Makes my life so much easier!

Wanna hear something really annoying?

[His "neck" flares out to form a massive speaker as Ben does what Upgrade does best: upgrade the technology he's possessing.]

[And have one heck of a loud, drawn-out blast of feedback in your direction, bad guys. You know how loud a riding mower is? That's how loud the noise is.]

Edited 2014-05-31 20:04 (UTC)

[The minions stagger back, clutching their heads, eyes screwed shut. They're not down and out just yet, but they're pretty easy to take out now.

Tiger cocks his head at the sound, raising a brow under his mask.]

The heck was that?

[Ben cuts out the noise, surging out of the intercom--leaving it just the way he'd found it, too--and swinging his fists towards the goons.]

Goodnight!

[If the hits connect, it's going to be not fun for these guys. While Upgrade wasn't as strong physically as most of his aliens, the living machine could still pack a wallop.]

[ And here there's one hostage who... hasn't even noticed. The giant robot crab entering. Or the thugs.

She has on a giant pair of headphones, and a bit of music can be heard blasting from them. She has her back turned and is flipping through a gun magazine, so she doesn't even notice the reactions of people around her.

Really, Ruby, you need to be more observant. ]

[Yep, everything's going just as pla-

Wait, what. Why is she not giving him her money, or at least have her hands over her head. Does she even know what's going on?]

Hey! You there, on the ground!

[Stop ignoring him, dammit!]

Edited 2014-05-31 17:24 (UTC)

[ Ruby gets the vague sense that somebody's trying to talk to her. ~~It comes from years of having a nagging older sister.~~ So she takes a quick glance up from her magazine, and... whoa hey why is everybody acting like there's a robbery going on?

She reaches up, finally taking off her headphones, another hand reaching into the pouch at her side to click off her MP3 player. ] Hey, is something going on?

[ Ruby.... Ruby look behind you... there's a giant robot crap...... ]

[Oh my god, this city. These people. He can't even begin to process this, and neither do the thugs. They just kinda stand there, looking really baffled. Because come on, who just ignores this kind of thing?

Ruby. Ruby is who.]

Yeah, something's goin' on! I'm robbing you! Have you even been paying attention?

Edited 2014-05-31 17:42 (UTC)

[ Ruby sounds... intrigued. ] You're robbing me?

[ She slowly turns around, and.... ]

WHOA HOLY COW!

[ She moves awfully fast for a normal girl. She's moved to the robot crab, probably running her hands all over the metal legs. Her eyes might have sparkles in them. ]

Wow this thing is so cool did you build it yourself? What's it made out of? Does it have any weapons?

[Okay, this is definitely not the kind of reaction he was hoping to get. Let's start over. Time to get in some classic villainous gloating here.]

I didn't need to lift a finger for this baby! It's proof positive of just what money can do for ya, and you're gonna find out just how cool it is if ya don't get outta the way!

C'mon, on the ground. We don't have all day!

Oooooh right, you're robbing the place.

About that, though...

[ Ruby takes a step back as she swiftly pulls a metal box the size and shape of a briefcase off of her belt, which... rapidly unfolded into a giant scythe. She expertly swings the weapon around before resting it over her shoulder. ]

I can't let you do that.

[ ......She can do this without destroying that awesome crab, right? ]

[Oh. Oh wow, that sure is a giant impractical weapon. It's a little intimidating, sure, but it's just one girl with an enormous tech-scythe. He can probably take her.

Probably.]

And just who's gonna stop me?

[Can't make the first move just yet. Gotta figure out who she is first, maybe goad her into doing something dumb.]

Well [ smirk ] I am.

[ She pauses for a moment... ]

Unless an actual superhero shows up.

[ She tenses, poised to burst into action. What's your move, rich guy with an awesome mech? ]

[Okay, he's starting to actually feel kinda bad about attacking someone who isn't a hero, even tangentially.

The giant gunscythe makes it a little better, though.]

Guess we'll just have to settle, then. Dōtonbori Robo! Show 'em how it's done!

[The sides of the crab start to unfold, revealing a brace of massive laser cannons, all poised and ready to fire. Which they do, in a display eerily reminiscent of a Pink Floyd show.

Overkill? Probably. Does he care? Hell no.]

Whoa!

[ It's hard to tell if her exclamation is out of appreciation for the awesome lasers, or shock from... having giant lasers fired at her.

Thankfully, once those babies came out, the people in the bank had the peace of mind to get the heck out of dodge. They already handed over their money anyway, so it's not like anybody's stop them, right?

Which meant that Ruby had no qualms about dodging the thing. She actually used her scythe to fire off its own shots to add to her speed, giving her more speed and maneuverability than any normal should have. First up in the air to avoid the initial shot, then off to the side and land neatly on a wall, then leap off and use another shot to speed towards his... Dōtonbori Robo. A sped up scythe-slash ought to be enough to sever one of the cannons, right?

Well, her scythe could cut through normal robots easily enough, but this guy's was a bit more tricked out. Maybe it wouldn't?

Either way, Ruby had the chance to grumble as she lashed out with her scythe. ] And I was trying not to hurt the robot!

[it figures, Drake thinks. he dragged his butt out of bed just long enough before noon on one of his TWO days off to deposit his paycheck and get grocery money, and THIS is when some lowlife decides he wants to knock over the bank. he was looking forward to spending at least an hour in the arcade knocking quarters into the closest thing to Whiffle Boy he could find, too. ... dangit. oh well. at least he knows there's a bathroom he can slip into and change.

while everyone else is panicking, a cloud of blue smoke forms and starts to bloom on top of one of the paperwork islands. you think YOU know how to make an entrance? try this on for size.]

I am the terror that flaps in the night!
I am the bounced check in the checking deposit of evil!
I .... am DARKWIIIIIIIIIING DUCK!

[he points commandingly as the smoke clears, cape swishing majestically around him. let the battle of the overdramatics commence!]

Don't you know you need an appointment to get into the safety deposit boxes?

[ Dr. Telephosphor had been patrolling that area of the city - even on Saturday mornings when supervillains hadn't threatened the city, he usually went for the people-watching. This time, however, a thing happened!

Entering the giant hole in the wall right behind the thugs, he whipped out his syringe gun and pointed it accusingly at the man atop the robot crab. Then he-- oh. Someone else was already making a speech. ]

Ah... nice speech. Your sense of aesthetics gives me shivers. I hope it has the same effect on your targets.

A-anyway...

[ STRIKING A DRAMATIC POSE, TAKE TWO. ]

It is one thing to pursue material objects in the name of greed, but wholly another to endanger others in the act. Cease and desist, anathema, or know the futility of your actions.

[ Dramatic speeches are approximately 500% less dramatic when delivered in a calm, even tone. ]

[Is...

Is that a duck?]

[Okay, that is definitely a duck that's threatening him. Alright. And some kind of frog alien too, but that's less distressing. Tiger doesn't even have the presence of mind to offer a snappy comeback, because this is just too much. Why did he even come to this city?

Oh yeah. The business thing. Whatever.

He flinches visibly away from the syringe gun and starts to gesture wildly towards the assembled goons.]

Don't just stand there, you morons! Get them!

[And after a moments hesitation, they turn and open fire. The crab takes a step back, trying to crush Telephosphor under one of its legs.]]

Edited 2014-05-31 19:34 (UTC)

[well, that's sure an alien. it's a good thing Darkwing's used to those, or he'd be severely distracted from the pursuit of justice and running around screaming like a little girl.

instead, he sends out a grapple from his gas gun up onto one of the bank's lighting fixtures and swings up out of the line of fire with a small "yipe", then drops a net on a couple of the goons. depending on how many of them there are, this might not lighten the load much. he calls out to Telephosphor as he's already swinging to the next light to ready another dashing move]

Nice speech, yourself. Could use a little more alliteration! But what're you gonna do with that thing, vaccinate him against smallpox?

Edited 2014-06-02 13:17 (UTC)

[ He didn't answer immediately on account of being too busy dodging giant crab feet and trying not to be in anyone's line of fire. With a frightened squeak he darted out from behind the crab and hid behind a pillar. ]

On the contrary, measles is a much bigger issue right now.

[ With that, he shakily fired three shots towards the thugs - all direct hits, although possibly only because they were standing so close together. They each seemed to stumble a bit, then collapse on the ground, having been hit with tranquilizer darts. ]

[Maybe not exactly tights, but a massive rube in a massive trench coat has appeared in the front doors of the bank.

... okay, through the front doors, actually. They were, uh, a little too small for his 7 foot frame. Oops. But it doesn't seem like he's really all that fazed by it.]

Sorry, buddy, but it looks like payday is over. [Mech vs. mech. Of a sort. This oughta be a fun fight. And if anything goes wrong, he can probably blame the collateral on the giant gilded crustacean over there.]

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Action

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Mind someone else stepping in for a rescue?

not at all

How About No!

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[Action Forever] Let me know if this isn't okay.

it's cool, though I'd prefer if his one leg up against superheroes didn't get wrecked immediately

No sweat!

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because the canon parallels are too much to ignore

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i'm so sorry 1/2

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Care to make it a duo?

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Re: Care to make it a duo?

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Re: Care to make it a duo?

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