Heaven On Earth With An Onion Slice

[robblerobble]

It starts with strange, mop-like creatures that smell of french fries setting up a boombox outside the local burger place. With a click, the boombox starts playing a song on repeat.

And then, with a burst of smoke that smells like cooked beef, appears the famous no-goodnik, THE HAMBURGLAR. Strutting inside the restaurant, he makes a dramatic flourish with his cape, declaiming grandly.

"Cheeseburger, robble robble!"

Behind him, his two Fry Guy minions skate inside, doing their best to look threatening. This is a stickup, diners! ALL YOUR BURGERS ARE BELONG TO HIM.

Comments

[redfleurette]

"Rob...ble?" Liberated?

Curious, she turns to the burger joint. 'Unworthy consum—' Hey, wait a...!

"Robble??" Did you do that??

[robblerobble]

"Robble robble."

Of course.

[robblerobble]

Diving Tackle, meet BURGER STRENGTH. The Hamburglar is just holding Aya over head, looking puzzled.

"Robble robble?"

Why are you doing this?

[redfleurette]

She starts hopping up and down a little in agitation. B-but her friends! Are they criminals??

"Robble! Robble!" But that's mean! Why??

[robblerobble]

"Robble robble!"

Anywhere there are people that have burgers, the Hamburglar shall be there to liberate them!

[bun_bun_maru]

"Put me down, you weirdo! I can't even interview you because you only know like two words!"

[tiny_revolutionary]

She's stunned for a moment by the clunk on her head. She staggers back, reaching behind her and tossing a soft drink cup on the Fry Guy's head. And if spilled soda wasn't bad enough? She's just made it big enough to completely trap him in it.

Anybody else want some?

[robblerobble]

"Cheeseburger, robble robble!"

Well that's rude!

[robblerobble]

Right. Time for Burger Speed!

The Hamburglar blurs into the kitchen, grabs a fry basket, and blurs back out to slam it down on top of Shinmyoumaru, scattering fries all over the place.

At least being whipped around at Burger Speed flung all the hot oil away from the tiny hero.

[anachronisticbilliards]

That was his milkshake! The one at the table he'd just vacated! Rude.

GaoSilver dodges and rolls, and he whips out his weapon, the Gao Hustler Rod. It looks sort of like a pool cue, a gun, and a sword all had some sort of weird baby. He's now brandishing it like a sword, and he's rushing at Hamburgler. "You're going to jail where you belong!"

AT LAST MY OPENING

[tiny_revolutionary]

The impact SEEMS to have made some sort of impression on her, if the fact she's suddenly shrunk down to tiny size is anything to go by.

Except it turns out that what she's REALLY done is shrunk long enough to stick that needle into one of the super hot fries. Now she's grown back to her human size -- and now has a super hot fry baton on top of it. Which she's now swinging at the Hamburgler.

[bun_bun_maru]

"What, you think I could publish an article that's just me asking questions and you saying 'cheeseburger' and 'robble robble' over and over? One of those is already implied by context, and the other isn't even a real word!"

Since Hamburglar doesn't seem intent on actually hurting her, Aya's just taking more pictures from up here.

[robblerobble]

"Robble robble."

You have a point, madame.

Aya is shifted about a bit as the Hamburglar mugs for the camera.

[robblerobble]

Burger Speed gets the Hamburglar out of the way, and then he's picking up a strawberry milkshake. He raises his arm to chuck it at GaoSilver, pauses, and takes a sip instead.

Then he lunges at the hero and smashes it directly at his visor.

Dodge this.

[robblerobble]

GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY

Galvanized by the presence of the largest fried potato product ever, all four Fry Kids swarm Shinmyoumaru, each one trying to claim the fry baton as their own.

[bun_bun_maru]

Yes, this will do. Hopefully, while Hamburglar is busy playing photo shoot, a real hero will show up to deal with him.

[hotter_thanthe_sun]

"Hey buddy, looks like you've been framed."

The words come from a blonde woman in a golden domino mask, cracking her knuckles.

"Why don't you quit while you're ahead? I don't have a beef with you!"

I COULDN'T RESIST

[magistermentium]

[Well.
Bill can't exactly say he was expecting this when he decided to have lunch at a '50s-style diner today. Although he doesn't find this nearly as weird as you might think. It's more along the lines of mild surprise.... and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
The man in the eyepatch, gold and black faux-tuxedo t-shirt and black jeans turns around in his booth as one of the pom-pom monsters passes by.]

Hey, small fry!

[Grinning, he pyrokinetically forms a blue fireball in his hand, before tossing it at the minion.]

Try not to get overcooked! AHAHAHAHA~!

[This is gonna be WAY more fun than an ordinary lunch.]

[descendsfromshadow]

And then from the other side of the room comes another voice. This one belonging to a young black-haired young woman, even as she shoots a Look at the punny blonde.

"You're outnumbered. Put her down and give it up."

No mask on this one but surely the odd amber eyes, and cat ears atop her head cover up any possible connection to any civilian. After all, the girl very obviously isn't even human.

[tiny_revolutionary]

Oh, you want the fry? You can have the fry!

Shinmyoumaru, slightly startled, leaps up onto the table and swings at the entire group of Fry Kids with the oversized, EXTREMELY HOT French Fry. Actually, she doesn't mind if they grab it off the needle because holy heck is it getting hot already.

[robblerobble]

The Hamburglar looks between the heroines for a few moments before placing Aya's burger back on the plate. Holding up one finger, he then puts Aya down in front of the burger, patting her fondly on the head before making a 'help yourself' gesture at the burger.

"Cheeseburger."

Apparently Aya gets to eat her burger in return for the photos.

And then the Fry Guys launch themselves at the heroines in flying kicks. With roller skates.

[bun_bun_maru]

Aya's brain stutters as it shifts gears between "Are you really going to stoop to his punning level" and "Oh no, she's gorgeous" as her two rescuers appear, but she hastily suppresses both trains of thought as she is placed back at her meal.

Now that the immediate peril is away from her, food can wait. As soon as Hamburglar's eyes are off her, Aya goes immediately back to taking as many photos of the impending battle as possible. Especially of the dark one with the withering glare.

[descendsfromshadow]

Blake, for her part, can't quite believe that her first superheroing activity since Slade is apparently going to involve a hamburger robbery. She glances toward Aya, satisfied that this was at least no longer a hostage situation before the Fry Guy comes at her.

Ah. So much for outnumbering him.

She reaches back, taking hold of Gambol Shroud's hilt and blurs. The Fry Guy's strike only hits a Shadow as Blake suddenly spins gracefully through the air above it... and swings the weapon downward to whack the Guy with the blunt edge.

[hotter_thanthe_sun]

"Golden Dragon's" response is more direct. She meets the fry guys head on, not even bothering to properly equip Ember Celica, swinging her fists and using her super strength to knock them away.

"So, what's your story, Beef Thief?" she said, as she threw her punches. "Do you have some sorta freudian obsession with hamburgers?"

[robblerobble]

The Fry Guy, currently a Frying Guy, skates frantically around the diner, scattering small flames everywhere.

The other one goes to headbutt Weird Fire Guy right in his dumb face.