Heaven On Earth With An Onion Slice

[robblerobble]

It starts with strange, mop-like creatures that smell of french fries setting up a boombox outside the local burger place. With a click, the boombox starts playing a song on repeat.

And then, with a burst of smoke that smells like cooked beef, appears the famous no-goodnik, THE HAMBURGLAR. Strutting inside the restaurant, he makes a dramatic flourish with his cape, declaiming grandly.

"Cheeseburger, robble robble!"

Behind him, his two Fry Guy minions skate inside, doing their best to look threatening. This is a stickup, diners! ALL YOUR BURGERS ARE BELONG TO HIM.

Comments

[robblerobble]

As the Hamburglar goes skidding back, he tosses the paper sack to the Fry Guys and holsters the Mustard Derringers before taking out the Ketchup Bazooka again.

He can't fire it, of course, but it makes a dandy club.

[number1_kerbal]

"Ow! Quit clowning around you two, get those burgers back!" Bill and Bob finally recover enough courage and clarity from their leader's orders to draw their attention to the Fry Guys even as Jebediah tries to grapple with the Hamburglar and wrestle him to the ground. The Fry Guys will find that Bill's aim is poor-but only because his hands are trembling with fear and there's no telling if he'll pull that trigger or not if anyone makes any sudden moves.

[robblerobble]

Seeing as how Hamburglar has his hands full - he could just use Burger Strength, but he's uninterested in hurting people, just stealing their burgers - the Fry Guys are on their own against their fellow minions.

As they quiver with antici...pation, a fine white powder floats off their bodies. This is, of course, the one ranged attack the Fry Guys possess - the Salty Shimmy Shake!

The iodized table salt clings to anything with the slightest bit of moisture - like, perhaps, a certain ketchup-smeared astronaut?

[number1_kerbal]

Jeb tried to wrestle a bit longer with Hamburglar-but then the blast of a laser pistol caught his attention and he turned-

Yep, Bill had lost his nerve again-and blasted all the burgers into oblivion, splattering the fry guys with burning fragments of bag and exploded burger.

[robblerobble]

"ROBBLE ROBBLE!"

AVENGE THE BURGERS!

Hamburglar lets just enough Burger Strength into his grip to toss Jebediah away as he draws out his final weapon - the Mayo Grenade. Bill is quickly plastered to the nearest wall by a thick, gooey coating of mayonnaise as the Hamburglar and his Fry Guys escape, taking the boombox and shaking their fists at the trio of astronauts.

[number1_kerbal]

"...Bill? Bob?"

"Yeah boss?"

"What the heck just happened?"