Heaven On Earth With An Onion Slice

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It starts with strange, mop-like creatures that smell of french fries setting up a boombox outside the local burger place. With a click, the boombox starts playing a song on repeat.

And then, with a burst of smoke that smells like cooked beef, appears the famous no-goodnik, THE HAMBURGLAR. Strutting inside the restaurant, he makes a dramatic flourish with his cape, declaiming grandly.

"Cheeseburger, robble robble!"

Behind him, his two Fry Guy minions skate inside, doing their best to look threatening. This is a stickup, diners! ALL YOUR BURGERS ARE BELONG TO HIM.

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[tiny_revolutionary]

Burger is currently getting snarfed down with a complete lack of royal decorum.

Having successfully evaded the burgery grasp of the villain, Shinmyoumaru leapt down from her now giant seat, rushing over to the becaped villain and promptly giving him a nasty prick in the calf with her needle sword. Okay, fighty times is now!

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And burger is gone. What is happening?

...oh. Tiny person with stabby thing. She must have eaten the burger. Hamburglar's reaction:

"ROBBLE ROBBLE!"

BURGER THIEF! DEFEAT HER, MY MINIONS!

He can't, since he's awkwardly hopping about on one foot, so the Fry Guys just dump about a pound of fine-grained table salt all over the floor around Tiny Burger Thief.

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Shinmyoumaru ducks under the bowl of her hat, shrinking down further as the salt covers the top. Suddenly, the bowl explodes out of the salt as it grows larger, to the size of a doghouse, before the girl throws it up in the air, allowing it to shrink back to hat size. She grabs a soft drink cup off the nearby table, removing the lid and straw. Wadding up the remnants of a straw wrapper, she holds up the straw next to her hammer and blows something past the mallet.

The spitwad, now the size of a dog, might end up hitting one of the Fry Guys. Ewwwww.

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...well then.

"Robble robble!"

SUMMON THE FRY GIRLS!

One of the Fry Girls nudges at the knocked-over Fry Guy with a single roller skate while the other one kicks at Shinmyoumaru's hat.

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Shinmyoumaru turns away from the kick, lowering the hat to take the kick blunt side. Turns out not only does it LOOK like a bowl, it's about as hard as one too. Meanwhile, she takes the now sword-sized needle's blunt end and stabs it sideways towards the offending Fry Girl.

If the materials weren't what they are and the location not what it is, this action might look REALLY cool.

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The Fry Girl is knocked over by the blow, but there's still a second Fry Guy not plastered to the floor with a giant spitball that can step up.

And if the silly hat is an actual bowl, well...stompy-stompy!

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She's stunned for a moment by the clunk on her head. She staggers back, reaching behind her and tossing a soft drink cup on the Fry Guy's head. And if spilled soda wasn't bad enough? She's just made it big enough to completely trap him in it.

Anybody else want some?

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Right. Time for Burger Speed!

The Hamburglar blurs into the kitchen, grabs a fry basket, and blurs back out to slam it down on top of Shinmyoumaru, scattering fries all over the place.

At least being whipped around at Burger Speed flung all the hot oil away from the tiny hero.

AT LAST MY OPENING

[tiny_revolutionary]

The impact SEEMS to have made some sort of impression on her, if the fact she's suddenly shrunk down to tiny size is anything to go by.

Except it turns out that what she's REALLY done is shrunk long enough to stick that needle into one of the super hot fries. Now she's grown back to her human size -- and now has a super hot fry baton on top of it. Which she's now swinging at the Hamburgler.

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GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY GIANT FRY

Galvanized by the presence of the largest fried potato product ever, all four Fry Kids swarm Shinmyoumaru, each one trying to claim the fry baton as their own.

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Oh, you want the fry? You can have the fry!

Shinmyoumaru, slightly startled, leaps up onto the table and swings at the entire group of Fry Kids with the oversized, EXTREMELY HOT French Fry. Actually, she doesn't mind if they grab it off the needle because holy heck is it getting hot already.

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It doesn't really take long for the Fry Guys to snatch the fry baton, at which point all four of them retreat off to a corner and start devouring their prize.

Meanwhile, the Hamburglar is moving on to his next trick: Mayo Grenades. Hopefully Shinmyoumaru can intercept it before she is covered in mayo!

[tiny_revolutionary]

Something like that.

Remember that straw and lid she grabbed? Well, they're still together. And now with a little Miracle Malleting, they're the size of a large glass pane window. She's got the straw shut tight on the other side, too, in case one of the grenades gets up ins the straw.