#002 - Rumblr/Action

[badbadguy]

A - Text

[Surprisingly, Westar actually does have a Rumblr account. Two of them. One for his regular identity, not really used that much. And one for his alter ego, Hayato. Mostly used for posting and reblogging pictures of food. Because what else would you use this for, right? Today, though, there's a small text post.

It's not private to friends, so anyone is free to respond to it... If they actually want to.]

okay so how can you be sure youre dying?

if it feels like youre dying thats probably enough right? wait does this mean i have to write a will because ive never written a will before. i have no idea what to even write in one.

......im pretty sure that this is what dying feels like though. if i stop posting assume i died.

B - Action

[Despite that little drama, this idiot is not dying. At all.

He isn't looking too good, though. He's lying on a park bench, awfully pale. If you get close enough, you may notice he's sweating.

...Yeah, he just has a fever.

He's holding a pen, staring at a piece of paper that is completely empty... except for the word 'WILL' at the top. All caps, bold.

Guess who has literally never been sick before and is freaking out needlessly? Yeah.]

Comments

Text

[6billioncreditwoman]

You should PROBABLY go see a doctor.

Text

[badbadguy]

...oh crap do you think??? i knew it was serious oh no oh no

[Someone should calm this idiot down.]

okay. okay a doctor i can do that.

...

how do i do that????????

[...Westar.]

Text

[6billioncreditwoman]

Generally you find a doctor's office and go to it.

[Shepard, your socialized healthcare privilege is showing.]

If you need to be seen immediately there's always emergency rooms in hospitals.

Text

[badbadguy]

an emergency room? okay i see

that is aptly named

because i am certain this is an emergency

i just hope i will make it there in time

anon text

[save_load]

depends on the way you're dying

text

[badbadguy]

well i feel really weak

and also dizzy

and also im really warm and i am about one hundred percent certain that that is not supposed to happen??? and eating stuff made me feel even worse

thats bad right

anon trolling

[save_load]

sounds like a curse i got hit with before

pretty terrible dying that way

[... she's actually not lying, but at the same she's pretty sure the person she's talking to doesn't have that curse]

text; ahahaha beautiful

[badbadguy]

[Anyone else would probably be at least a little suspicious about a comment like that. But Westar?]

waIT WHAT

OH NO THIS IS BAD

WHAT DO I DO??? YOUVE BEEN CURSED BEFORE YOURE THE EXPERT!!!

[...Westar will believe just about anything.]

[descendsfromshadow]

[She's usually a pretty exclusive lurker when it comes to Rumblr but something about this strikes her as just pathetic enough to warrant a comment.]

Usually a will details who you want to leave your possessions to after you've passed on.

You might want to make sure you're dying first.

[badbadguy]

oh okay

thats... weird. but apparently youre supposed to make one so i will do that.

...im pretty sure im dying, but. is there a way to be totally completely absolutely sure?

[descendsfromshadow]

Are you in a long tunnel with a bright light at the end?

Action!

[high_on_daylight]

[A ten-year-old girl happens to be walking by, and looks towards Westar.]

Why are you out when you are so obviously ill? Do you want to infect other people?

[Like Little Miss Kinda Compromised Immune System over here, for example.]

[badbadguy]

...Ill?

[He just kind of blinks at the word, looking up at this kid. Okay, clearly this child has no idea what she's talking about.]

What are you talking about?

[high_on_daylight]

You very obviously have a cold or the flu or something. So why are you sitting outside near a place a bunch of people cross, where you can infect all of them?!?!

[Never mind that it will probably cause more suffering than every other Westar plan combined...]

A-Rumblr Reply from "Perky Lizard"

[electricalcurrent]

Generally we let doctors sort out if we're dying or not.

[She was mostly replying because the guy seemed to be needlessly exaggerating nothing. But rather than say, a breakup being the end of the world it was death! Nothing to exaggerate needlessly there. Though she had really put him on follow because he cooked pretty well, she was still trying to grasp reblogging, and she was always happy to see food and recipes.

Spark was also curious what a break up was. Dating wasn't very common among her people, but that wasn't really the place to ask someone out for a date. But she decided to anyways.]

How about I drag your butt down to one and we'll see if you're dying all right? Afterwards we can do something fun, maybe? Either to celebrate or give you a nice night to take the edge off.

[badbadguy]

someone else mentioned a doctor but i havent ever been to one before

well i mean. aside from a normal checkup but thats not really the same.

[It's really not. Especially seeing as his homeworld's idea of a check-up is very different from Earth's. Not that he knows that.]

huh really? you would do that?

[electricalcurrent]

Heh, I would! Just tell me where you're at and I can help you out. And it's kinda like a diagnostic check up. You tell them what's wrong and then they test you to figure out what's wrong!

[Too bad Spark is from a place with socialized medicine.]

[astronomically]

[ do you know how hard it is balancing hero duty and school

very hard and it's also very exhausting

Which is why a certain Ms Kuroi has skipped her afternoon lessons for today and is making her way home through the park for a well-deserved nap. Maybe eventually she'll get used to this, maybe she won't.

In fact, she's so exhausted that she doesn't even notice Hayato at first and walks right past him -- but then doubles back, frowning in confusion but looking completely unsurprised.

It's Hayato. She just rolls with it now. ]

... Whatcha doin'?

[badbadguy]

[Yeah, just... just go with it, Mato. That's the best way to handle anything involving this guy. He looks up at her for a moment, then looks back to the paper.]

I am writing a will.

It seemed like an appropriate response to the situation.

[astronomically]

...

[ if ??? were a noise, Mato would be making that noise right now.

as it is, she just stares at him looking fairly puzzled. ]

A what? A will?

Like an "I'm dying, have my stuff" kinda will?

B

[dhil]

[Sorry, by the simple merit of being seven feet tall, they're very good at casting shadows and looming.

Both of which they're doing right now, reading the big blank sheet of paper that Westar has going here. What are you writing? Is it interesting? Are you a writer? That is so cool.]

[badbadguy]

[...whoa, what, when did it become this dark? He knew he was out of it and all, but that's not supposed to happen! Oh god, is everything going dark now? Is this that dark tunnel that girl warned him abou-

Oh wait, it's just a person.]

Uh... [He blinks.] ...hello?

C - like B, but in Skeletortown

[nomorehappiness]

What's that? Are you trying to come up with a new plan of attack?

[ It would be hard to come up with one worse than any of his other plans, but Eas believes in her comrade. He can always get worse. ]

[badbadguy]

[He doesn't even answer right away. His head hurts way too much for this, ugh. Then he blinks and he seems to realize Eas was talking to him, whoops.]

...hm? No.

I am writing something the people of this world call a 'will'.

[nomorehappiness]

[ He sounds either unusually serious or unusually ditzy. ]

A will? As in... willpower?

[ Eas has been doing a lot of research and all, but she can't be expected to know every silly little custom of this dimensional backwater. ]