Heaven On Earth With An Onion Slice

[robblerobble]

It starts with strange, mop-like creatures that smell of french fries setting up a boombox outside the local burger place. With a click, the boombox starts playing a song on repeat.

And then, with a burst of smoke that smells like cooked beef, appears the famous no-goodnik, THE HAMBURGLAR. Strutting inside the restaurant, he makes a dramatic flourish with his cape, declaiming grandly.

"Cheeseburger, robble robble!"

Behind him, his two Fry Guy minions skate inside, doing their best to look threatening. This is a stickup, diners! ALL YOUR BURGERS ARE BELONG TO HIM.

Comments

[anachronisticbilliards]

So Shirogane was sitting there in that booth, eating his burger and minding his own business when suddenly that happens. What. Just...what.

He may look like your average dumbfounded diner, but while one hand remains firmly gripping the cheeseburger he was about to take a big bite of, another casually reaches into his pocket and drops what might be a largish marble. He quietly and gently kicks it away, dumbfounded look still directed at this spectacle.

The marble rolls off to rest behind a trash can, where it then resolves itself into the form of a robot wolf. Said wolf is just waiting to see what happens next before letting the Fry Guy fur fly.

[robblerobble]

What happens next is BURGER SPEED, as the Hamburglar turns into a striped blur, snatching every burger in the restaurant, wrapping them in paper, and tossing them into a sack.

Burger Speed: Also known as Best Speed.

[anachronisticbilliards]

"Hey!" The cheeseburger he was about to eat is now in Hamburglar's sack, and now Shirogane is cheesed off.

But at least now the robot wolf Shirogane loosed is about to make his move. It's charging out from behind one of those trash cans and lunging at the nearest Fry Guy.

While GaoWolf provides that distraction, Shirogane's whipping out what looks like a cell phone and running for the bathroom. He looks like nothing more than a civilian about to call the cops, but if he can just get himself a bit of privacy, he's going to transform so he can join in the fight, too.

[robblerobble]

Hahaha, like Hamburglar cares about the cops. No, he's just going to use his Burger Strength to whip a cash register at that robot wolf menacing his minions.

[anachronisticbilliards]

Good, he's got some privacy, and he flips open that phone. "Summon! Spirit of the Earth!" And now there's a flashy superhero transformation sequence going on in that bathroom.

Meanwhile, GaoWolf was not expecting that suddenly-flying cash register, which connects and sends him crashing into the trash can he'd hidden behind earlier.

"Hold it right there!" Shirogane's burst into the room now, and there's a little bit of posing. "Or face The Sparkling Wolf, GaoSilver!" Because it's only proper to announce oneself before springing into action, after all.

[robblerobble]

Oh hey is that a chocolate milkshake over there? Just gonna throw that at GaoSilver's head.

"Robble robble!"

[anachronisticbilliards]

That was his milkshake! The one at the table he'd just vacated! Rude.

GaoSilver dodges and rolls, and he whips out his weapon, the Gao Hustler Rod. It looks sort of like a pool cue, a gun, and a sword all had some sort of weird baby. He's now brandishing it like a sword, and he's rushing at Hamburgler. "You're going to jail where you belong!"

[robblerobble]

Burger Speed gets the Hamburglar out of the way, and then he's picking up a strawberry milkshake. He raises his arm to chuck it at GaoSilver, pauses, and takes a sip instead.

Then he lunges at the hero and smashes it directly at his visor.

Dodge this.

[anachronisticbilliards]

"Argh!" That was not the move Shirogane was expecting him to make, and the silver-clad hero is momentarily blinded with pink. Not strawberries! Anything but strawberries! He doesn't like those! That was why he'd had the chocolate shake in the first place, for crying out loud! He's flailing around for a napkin or something now.